Why I hate Joseph Nicéphore Niépce.

While the idea of a photograph is amazing, it's just depressing in reality.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, your mind plays tricks on you, allowing you to see yourself how you imagine you look instead of how you really appear. Some people see themselves worse than they appear, others see themselves as better. In photos, though, there is no hiding what you look like.

Your friends will tell you, "Oh, that was taken from a bad angle," or other soothing comments to mend your bruised ego. Let's be honest, though: They're lying. You're not a piece of furniture - it's not a "bad angle," it's just how you look.

I tend to see myself as I looked just out of college. I don't see myself as I was in high school as many people tend to do - somehow, looking like a modern-day Ichabod Crane wasn't the most flattering stage. Seeing a photo of current Will, though, it's apparent I should be taking medication for my self-delusion.

How can we combat this intrusion of photo-cruelty? I propose a return to the practice of hiring artists to create portraits. I'll be commissioning one next week.