Reunion-a-go-go

It's that time again: My high school class is having another reunion. Should I go or should I skip it?

I went to the last one, which wasn't too bad. There was some weird goings on at the end, when one of the guys who went to school with us said we were all evil or something. I'm not exactly clear what happened but I seem to remember security asking him to leave after his rantings started to cause a scene.

It's now been way too many years, and I just don't have a desire to go. I'm not dead-set against it and I'm not excited - I'm really apathetic about the whole thing. Which, to me, means that I shouldn't go. If there was a strong emotion either way, then I'd attend.

Yes, I might be missing out on catching up with old friends. It would be nice to chat it up with some people and to see how they've been doing. Chances are, though, that it would be lots of awkward small talk in between any possible meaningful discussions. I've had far too many of those experiences with family get-togethers.

Plus, there's a horror movie convention in Detroit that weekend. Who would want to miss out on that?

Snacking error

Surprisingly, "Chocolate Mix Skittles" taste as bad as you would think.

I gave into the distractingly bright display box at the 7-11 counter and purchased a bag of the odd flavor and texture combination. But, once again, I was cruelly led astray by deceptive advertising.

I'll be putting the 3/4 full bag for sale on eBay.

Hey kids, try a career in the exciting realm of print journalism!

Being a reporter was fun - a lot of fun, actually. While I never got the chance to track down vampires and demons like my idol, Carl Kolchak, I had a blast covering the news.

That said, it was the perfect time to get out of the business. Take a look at this AP story:

DETROIT - The city's two major daily newspapers, in the face of industrywide financial difficulties and a troubled state economy, are offering buyouts to employees and shared business staff in a bid to cut at least 150 positions.
Buyouts will be offered to nonunion employees of The Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press as well as workers at their joint business operation. The offer might be extended to unionized workers as well, pending union approval.
The Detroit Media Partnership said Monday it wants at least 150 employees - about 7 percent of its overall work force - to take the buyouts or layoffs may follow.
"The Detroit Media Partnership faces unique challenges because of the state's business and economic climate," Free Press Publisher Dave Hunke, who also serves as chief executive of the partnership, said in a note to employees. "We must take several actions immediately."
In addition to the buyouts, the Free Press plans to eliminate its Twist magazine, which is distributed on weekends, and its Sunday Community Free Press sections. Elements from Twist will be folded into the Sunday features section.
Last fall, the partnership offered buyouts as it sought to cut 110 positions, about 5 percent of its overall staff.
To be eligible for the buyout offer, employees must be at least 45 and have worked at least 10 years as of the end of July. Those who take the deal will receive two weeks' pay for each year of service and extended health benefits.
Detroit Media Partnership manages the business operations of the Detroit Free Press and The Detroit News, including production, advertising and circulation, but the papers' newsroom operations are separate.
The Free Press is owned by Gannett Co., based in McLean, Va. The News is owned by MediaNews Group, based in Denver.

Yikes. Pretty scary news for my ex-colleagues who are still in the trenches. In the words of Dr. Egon Spengler: "Print is dead."

Why I hate Joseph Nicéphore Niépce.

While the idea of a photograph is amazing, it's just depressing in reality.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, your mind plays tricks on you, allowing you to see yourself how you imagine you look instead of how you really appear. Some people see themselves worse than they appear, others see themselves as better. In photos, though, there is no hiding what you look like.

Your friends will tell you, "Oh, that was taken from a bad angle," or other soothing comments to mend your bruised ego. Let's be honest, though: They're lying. You're not a piece of furniture - it's not a "bad angle," it's just how you look.

I tend to see myself as I looked just out of college. I don't see myself as I was in high school as many people tend to do - somehow, looking like a modern-day Ichabod Crane wasn't the most flattering stage. Seeing a photo of current Will, though, it's apparent I should be taking medication for my self-delusion.

How can we combat this intrusion of photo-cruelty? I propose a return to the practice of hiring artists to create portraits. I'll be commissioning one next week.

Hell on Earth

We all have our own personal hells. For some, it's being stuck in traffic. For others, it's going to the dentist.

For me, it's going to meetings. As a reporter, I went to a lot of meetings - city council, school board, planning commission ... all with a purpose, even if they did tend to drag on a bit too long. Since I was an observer and not a participant, I could pull out my cell phone at anytime and fake a call to leave. Now that I'm working in an office, skating out of a meeting is not so simple.

Meetings here tend to go very long and, as expected, accomplish very little. This morning, there was a 2 1/2 hour management meeting. The first hour or so - interesting and on-topic. The last hour and a half ... not so much. I spent the time drawing pictures on a piece of paper and digging my fingernail into my hand to stay awake.

One member of the management team was asleep during the last part of the meeting. (No one seemed to be paying attention to that, though.) I was excited when the "does anyone else have anything" portion started around the table. Sadly, two of the managers actually thought that was a cue to give lengthly monologues on what they had been doing for the past week. I thought for sure everyone knew that was the time to say, "Nope, I'm good," so we can all leave the coma-enducing meeting.

Here's how I schedule meetings. Fifteen minutes to discuss business - if you can't get the discussion done in that time, then we'll have to bring it up at a later meeting. The last fifteen minutes are spent discussing television programs. The end.

I hope to roll this plan out as a new Standard Operating Procedure for the division. I'll let you know how that goes.

Just strange

Over the last two summers, our local drain commissioner implemented a "rain gardens" development for our neighborhood. The job was a mess, took longer than expected and cost more than expected. So, of course, he won an award for it.

I lost about a foot of property all along the west side of my yard. (Well, not "lost" exactly - it's still there, but now it just slopes down into a ditch instead of being part of the lawn. There are wildflowers and native plants all along the road, which may look better than a regular ditch, and it is supposed to improve drainage from heavy rains.

Now to the strange part ...

During the last three weeks, I've caught two different older women digging flowers out of the rain garden next to my house. The first woman stopped in the road, pulled a hoe out of her backseat and dug out two large flowers. She put them in her car and drove away. She saw me looking - I had pulled into my driveway and was staring at her from my car, wondering why she was so taken with the flowers that she had to dig them up.

This past weekend, a woman pulled into my driveway, got out, and started digging flowers out of the rain garden. She had a giant carpet roll (I don't think anything or anyone was inside it) tied down in her open trunk. After 10 or 15 minutes, she got back into her car to leave. At that point, I opened my front door and looked out. I thought maybe she'd toss a courtesy wave at me or something to acknowledge that she was in my freaking driveway. However, she looked every which way except toward me as she sat in her car for a bit before backing out and driving down the road.

Now, I could be wrong, but these look like normal flowers. I'm no botanist, but I don't think they're special or unique. I guess they look nice, but I would have been just as happy with concrete-lined ditches instead of rain gardens. So I'm probably not the person to ask about the aestheics of wildflowers.

Should I have stopped the women? Or maybe I should have helped them pick the flowers? Maybe I'm not aware of the proper ettiquite for wildflower pickers or, as I call them, flower thieves.

Offices

Working at a newspaper, the hours were a bit odd. Sometimes you'd work very late, other days .... well, let's say things would even out.

Now that I'm working in a "real" office, the 8 to 5 schedule - going to meetings, sitting at a desk, always in the same building - can seem a bit odd. By "odd" I mean stifling. Yes, I know - many people work hard at an office every single day for their entire lives. I applaud those people but it's just not for me.

I think part of my unease about being inside all day comes from my dad. He worked for the state's Department of Transportation for 41 years. When I was younger, he told me he hated the days he had to go into the office. That was the day he'd have to fill out all of the paperwork and go to meetings. He would have much rather been out on the job, inspecting bridges or working with the crews.

At the paper, I set my own schedule. I'd work from home or on a laptop outdoors or at an establishment of my choice. I could conduct interview over the phone, do research and take photos - all without having to be in the office, meet with my bosses or get dragged into a discussion of which I want no part.

There were downsides to the newspaper job, of course, and I'll get used to the office.

But I still miss those "newspaper lunches" ...

Cash is dead.

You can't buy stamps at the Post Office.

Well, I should clarify that. You can't walk in with a handful of cash and use that machine to buy stamps. If you want to wait in line behind everyone mailing boxes to Uruguay, then you're still able to pay with cash.

I didn't want to do that, however (our office has a rather strict "lunch hour" rule). After reviewing the rules of the new debit/credit card only machine, I learned that I would have to buy a booklet of stamps. No single stamps for sale - that poses a problem, because I only need two stamps a month. I really didn't want to fork out $8 for a booklet.

Sufficiently perplexed, and still bemoaning the loss of the old machine, I left without buying any stamps. Hopefully, Consumers Energy doesn't need its payment anytime soon. (And no, I don't want to pay the $6 handling fee to pay the bill on-line.)