Local TV

It's winter in Michigan, so it must be time for continuous traffic weather reports. While I understand the desire to have on-location shots (it makes for better TV), I wish the "reporters" would at least make an effort.

Here's a tip for our local TV personalities: We know where your station is located. We can tell - just from seeing you on TV - that you're standing in your freakin' parking lot. The road behind you doesn't make you look more adventurous. It's good for a laugh in the morning, though. You stand outside, all bundled up in your carefully-chosen outfit, pretending as if you've been out in the cold for hours. In reality, you just stepped outdoors a couple of minutes ago, and you will hop back inside your studio as soon as your 30 second airtime is up.

Oh, and why did I state "reporter" in quotes? Because you're a TV personality, not a reporter. We all know it, and you'll feel much better if you just admit it to yourself.

Hey kids, try a career in the exciting realm of print journalism!

Being a reporter was fun - a lot of fun, actually. While I never got the chance to track down vampires and demons like my idol, Carl Kolchak, I had a blast covering the news.

That said, it was the perfect time to get out of the business. Take a look at this AP story:

DETROIT - The city's two major daily newspapers, in the face of industrywide financial difficulties and a troubled state economy, are offering buyouts to employees and shared business staff in a bid to cut at least 150 positions.
Buyouts will be offered to nonunion employees of The Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press as well as workers at their joint business operation. The offer might be extended to unionized workers as well, pending union approval.
The Detroit Media Partnership said Monday it wants at least 150 employees - about 7 percent of its overall work force - to take the buyouts or layoffs may follow.
"The Detroit Media Partnership faces unique challenges because of the state's business and economic climate," Free Press Publisher Dave Hunke, who also serves as chief executive of the partnership, said in a note to employees. "We must take several actions immediately."
In addition to the buyouts, the Free Press plans to eliminate its Twist magazine, which is distributed on weekends, and its Sunday Community Free Press sections. Elements from Twist will be folded into the Sunday features section.
Last fall, the partnership offered buyouts as it sought to cut 110 positions, about 5 percent of its overall staff.
To be eligible for the buyout offer, employees must be at least 45 and have worked at least 10 years as of the end of July. Those who take the deal will receive two weeks' pay for each year of service and extended health benefits.
Detroit Media Partnership manages the business operations of the Detroit Free Press and The Detroit News, including production, advertising and circulation, but the papers' newsroom operations are separate.
The Free Press is owned by Gannett Co., based in McLean, Va. The News is owned by MediaNews Group, based in Denver.

Yikes. Pretty scary news for my ex-colleagues who are still in the trenches. In the words of Dr. Egon Spengler: "Print is dead."